Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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