Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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