My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
