I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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