oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
