I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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