Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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