I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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