Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
