Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize