allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
