if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
