Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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