im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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