Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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