if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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