I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
