she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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