paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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