I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize