So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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