Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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