Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
