u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
