I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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