Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
