I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
