4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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