I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
