plz talk dirty to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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