I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize