so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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