I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
