he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
