i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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