all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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