He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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