but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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