you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize