I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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