You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
