guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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