Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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