White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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