I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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