why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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