got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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