have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
