Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
its liver damage thursday
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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