the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
