love makes seman taste better
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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