you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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