i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
