Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
