Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Alive.
So much puke
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
