i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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