Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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