I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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